Friday, November 18, 2011

Memo for Blakeley

A memo for Blakeley- 
Blakeley, I want you to know that your Mom loves you, I hate that on Saturday's we don't get to go to the park with your friends, I hate that this year we didn't get to go to the pumpkin patch, I hate that you have missed out on Birthday Parties, I hate that I didn't know your schools Thanksgiving Party was today, I hate that I don't have a copy of your first school picture, I hate that I have to hear/ read about things that goes on with your dad and his girlfriend, I hate the fact that she gets to enjoy your company on the weekends while im working. I want you to know that the reason we never got to do any of this stuff was because mommy was working to provide for you. I never want you to think we just weren't doing this stuff just because. Mommy was working to provide for you and make sure that your school and way of living was paid for. I'm writing this tonight, as I lay in bed thinking about the work I have to do tomorrow.... Looking at facebook and everything everyone will be doing this weekend. Wondering how nice it would be if you and I could go do that stuff on a Saturday. Mommy can't depend on ANYONE to help her, I have to go out and do it on my own... As I hope you will one day... Under different circumstances. I hope that your Saturday's are filled with fun and laughter with your dad, I can only wish that you adore his girlfriend and that she feels the same about you. I can only hope that they will stay together in the long haul seeing as she is around you more than I am sometimes. I can only hope that one day they could put themselves in my shoes to see what I sacrifice for us. I can only hope that one day you are not resentful of me for the things you missed out on while mommy was at work. I am writing this in my blog so that one day if that does happen I can show you this. I hope life doesn't stay this difficult for long, but someone has got to provide for the family, and that is me. I love you Blakeley, don't ever forget that. The nights we do get to spend together, I cherish... I would never put someone before you, NEVER. I would never leave you under someone elses care just because. The time I have with you is golden, always know that. I wish others wouldn't take that for-granted.
Love you angel,

Sunday, November 6, 2011

Hard times, what people never talk about....

     The purpose of my blog is to talk about what is going on in my life, rather it be the good, bad or ugly. That IS the purpose of this.... So years from now I can look back and see what made me the woman I am. My blogs might piss some of you off at times, I don't really care. Its my blog, my feelings, my life. Today's blog will not be so upbeat and fun, I do try to keep my blogs all happy go lucky but recently I feel that writing this will help get all of my anger out. Those of you that know me (if you don't- I dont understand why you are reading my blog in the first place), know that I don't put up with a lot of b.s. and that I can come across very harsh at times. I couldn't really tell you why I am that way. I can take a lot for a girl- you can throw stones at me all day and it wont hurt my feelings a bit. This is a good thing most of the time, but sometimes its not. People- even some of my best friends think that I can take anything, that's not the case...EVERYONE has their breaking point... 

    At times I will go to my friends with problems, most of the time I don't. Why?... Because everyone has a opinion, everyone thinks they know the solution to my problem, everyone can relate, and everyone has been there or done that.... That's one reason why I love this blog, yeah you can comment but I don't have to listen to everyone's OPINION all day. Don't get me wrong I know my friends are just trying to help, but in retrospective no one knows EXACTLY how I am feeling. It would be nice for someone to say "ya that sucks to hear, hope it gets better" rather than "well you should do this, or you should do that." BLAH. Everything going on in my life all seems to come crashing down at once... When it rains, it poors.... right. Currently what I have been doing the past month: Moving to a new place, working two jobs, and moving my store to a new place as well. Am I asking for a sympathy card? No I hate it when people try to comfort me, makes my skin curl... That's one reason why you NEVER see me cry in public. But a simple "hey your doing a really good job" would be nice. Let's put it this way, I'm only 20yrs old.... A "normal" 20 year old is in college, sleeping in late, going to school if they "feel" like it, living off of their parents- I know some people don't but a lot do- going out blowing money on expensive ass drinks, not having a care in the world. My day consists of waking up at 6:30am every morning (with the exception of Monday which is a 5:30am) to get myself and Blakeley ready for school/ work. I drop Bebe off, then head to TOC where I work until 2pm. I meet Hunter get Bebe then go onto my second job running The Doodle Bug. Most people have the weekends off but not me ;) Friday, Saturday, and Sundays I am keeping The Doodle Bug up and bumpin'. Technically I do not have a day off, but since I am the sole provider for Blakeley I HAVE to do whatever it takes to make sure she is taken care of. I wouldn't have it any other way, I love knowing that I am the one that is really providing for her, yes it would be nice to have some help here and there but I like the challenge- even tho is sucks sometimes, I'm up for it. I do LOVE my new 2nd job and of coarse THE DOODLE BUG is AMAZING! I love seeing how excited the kids get when the see the store and come in to paint. Life might be hard right now, but there IS a reason for everything. I know God just didn't put me in this predicament for the heck of it, he has a plan for Blakeley and I. I look forward to seeing what the future has in-store for us!

On a Lighter Note!....
       Between the 2 moves Halloween managed to creep up on me. Blakeley was a Toddler and Tiara, and the best looking one if I do say so myself! From her baby wig, to her 10in' long lashes she was stylin' and profiln' :) I managed to get a great picture of her before her Fall Festival at school!
The night of Halloween I didn't get that many pictures, Bebe was not in a fab mood! Since I am momma bear it's my job to make sure that little one goes to everyone's casa so there wasn't that much "trick or treating" it was mainly mommy driving all over the town to please everyone... It would be nice if everyone could just hang in one place for JUST ONE NIGHT! But that would be to easy.. But besides that Bebe did get some yummy candy, got to hang with her besties, and even my friend Victoria and her little fam came to see us as well! Over all it was a good time :)

With everything going on in my life, I'm ecstatic about my big 21st Birthday that is this weekend! I know that this will be the year for a fresh start, new beginnings, and to get rid of all the b.s. in my life :) I can't wait for my new year to start!

Cheers to that!

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Past couple of months!

    Well it's been a while since I have gotten to blog. So lets recap whats all happened since my last blog in JUNE!!!! Since then a lot has changed, Blakeley is in school, I got the opportunity to be filmed in Scot Wedgeworth's new reality TV show "Bama Fabulous", things are changing drastically in my life, and everyday Blakeley seems to amaze me. 
    Blakeley started Pre-School Sept 1st at Whitesburg Baptist Church, she goes Tues-Fri 8:30-12:30. Hayes, Isabella, and Knox all go there, so its nice for her to see familiar faces everyday. I did not want to put her in school, I would rather have her all day with me so I don't miss out on anything! But I had too, it's not fair to her if I didn't. At school they learn colors, sing, bible verses, clean up, and the most important have social interaction. Blakeley is approaching 2yrs (going on 16) and has got a little "tude". I knew by putting her in school she would learn how to share and have social interaction. Her first day was such a bitter sweet moment, my little baby girl is growing up ;(. It was hard letting Bebe go but she seemed okay with it, when she saw the corner of Baby Dolls in the room haha- shes obsessed with baby dolls. Since starting school Blakeley takes a nice nap from 1-4pm (girl likes to sleep), she picks up her toys after playing with them, and it not as sassy as she was before (shes still got some sass in her but I like it). So far she seems excited to go to school in the mornings, when we get there she runs to her classroom, then starts crying when she realizes I'm about to leave. When I go back to get her I always peek around the corner to see what shes doing and she seems happy! I'm glad I made the decision to put her in school.
Of course for her first day she had to be decked out from head to toe- here are a couple of pictures of what she wore the first couple of days and her lunch box.
 Bebe's lunch box I painted for her.
First day shirt I got made!
Arriving at her class!
 About to walk in her class the first time!
 Walking in with her teacher Ms. Carrie

 I got there a little early to peek in! She was munchin away
 Running outside of the school, fun day!
 I attempted to make Bebe a First Day Cookie- all that matters is that it tasted good.
 Running into school for Day 2!
Second day of school!

 Fabulous Opportunities!
August 26th-27th I got the opportunity of a lifetime. My mother and I love to decorate, and what girl doesn't like weddings? Well combine the two, plus camera men, thousands of roses, lots of FABULOUS men, and Mt.Dew and you  got a taste of what I got to experience. Scot Wedgeworth is a famous wedding designer from Tuscaloosa, AL (ROLL TIDE!) He has really made something of himself with his Fabulous Weddings, rocker style black on black attire, and a great sense of humor. He now is the star of a new reality T.V. show on The Food Network called "Bama Fabulous". The show will surely shoot ratings out the roof. He is like the man version of Chelsea Handler, but not mean and has good style. Scot also has a great team surrounding him, Travis and Nick. Travis Mackey has a great eye for style, he is also a fashion designer and designed the Brides rehearsal dress (which was stunning). I loved getting to meet and help him. Nick is great, he helps with all of Scot's prepping for a wedding and will even drive hundreds of miles to pick up equipment for a it. I got the honor of meeting all three of the fabulous men that weekend in August. All Friday night we helped Scot and his crew set up for a breath taking wedding. Saturday we got to go back and help with the reception, which was held in The Zone (talk about cool!). Paige, my mother, and myself all got to experience decorating tables, hang roses from the ceiling- yes the ceiling, and be apart of one of the most important days of a girls life. I'm so thankful I got to be apart of such a Fabulous experience and can't wait to see the premier of Scot's show and watch episode 5, which we were filmed on!
Paige, Me, Scot, & My Mom
 Hanging the Raining Roses
I'm obsessed with this cake, BLING!!!
Scot and my Mom
One of the amazing centerpieces

    New things are going on in my life everyday. At the moment I am figuring out everything for the future. My dream would be to move out of Huntsville to Nashville or Dallas. I know that won't happen anytime soon, but a girl can dream right? Right now I'm looking to get a part time job in the medical field or something secure that will come with benefits and life long plan. Don't get me wrong I love owning The Doodle Bug, it does great for itself!!! But I need to plan for Blakeley's future and making sure she has everything provided for her and then some. The store is only busy after school and on Saturday's so why wouldn't I get a second job during the day? I am about to have to move into a bigger place, my quaint little one bedroom isn't working for us. Blakeley is at the age now where sleeping with mommy every night needs to stop :( I think ill be more upset than she will be! With all of that going on I am also newly single, things were just not working out and like I said I'm planning for the future. So hopefully getting a new job, new place, being newly single, will all equal out to a Fresh New Start. I am confident that something great is in my future, I don't know what it is but I always put trust in Gods hands in that he will take care of Blakeley and I. I am excited for the road ahead and will try to post blogs more often!

Keeping it Fabulous,
Mommy of Bebe

Friday, June 17, 2011

Sex in the City

    Well where to begin, its only been 3 days since my last blog.... It's felt like a week tho. Surprisingly I am actually getting on here to write another blog again! After my first one I didn't know if I would write another one. It's kind of nice having a blog tho, I can talk about stuff going on in my life and get it out there. I am seriously thinking about starting one for The Doodle Bug! 
    Last night I had the best time I've had in a while. I went to adult tumbling class, its offered at The Matrix. If you have never been and can remotely tumble I suggest going!Tumbling Videos! Its amazing, I love that I can still tumble and get a great work-out in at the same time. My old high school cheer coach Tina Jones teaches the class. I LOOOOVE her and always have, shes such a straight shooter like me. The class is very R rated tho! It's almost like a therapy session, we go in and talk about EVERYTHING.... and I mean everything that goes on in our lives. Its great that a bunch of girls from ages 20-40 can talk about anything and tumble at the same time! I really love it. After the class Madison and I either go to my house and watch Housewives or go to Los Marachia's (you will hear me talk about this place quite often). I love Los, they have the BEST Margaritas and food at a fantastic price! Anywho Mad and I went there to grab a Marg and had a blast. After that we traveled to a Amendment 21 where our friend Kristin joined us! All of us in our scruk-out clothes (scrubs & work-out clothes combined) the bartender gave us that bad a name. We sat outside and enjoyed a white sangria, (which is my FAV drink) and had the best time. We just talked about the most craziest stuff and really enjoyed ourselves. It was almost like we were the Sex and the City girls, Me as Carrie... (Prior to going to amendment I went home to put on pants bc I was cold and ended up changing 10times... All of them being work-out gear, I have a WEIRD phobia about t-shirts, i.hate.them) ok back on track...Kristin as Charlotte- she looooves cooking and being a domesticated, I admire that about her she defiantly fits the Charlotte category- Next Madison... oh sweet Madison is DEFIANTLY- drum roll please.... SAMANTHA, and she owns it very well! Madison has had a serious boyfriend for 3 years now who she lives with, just down the road from me! So don't get it all twisted shes not a slore or anything shes just VERY open about EVERYTHING that goes on in her life. I love that about her!  All 3 of us talking about what goes on in our lives and how we are getting old reminded me so much of Sex in the City. Too bad we don't have a red headed lesbian to fit the Marianda category, I think I'll skip out on that one for now tho!  
    Madison, Kristin, and I have all become very close. I truly enjoy their company, I love that I have made new friends and branched out. Madison and I have really hit it off, I would consider her one of my best friends!!! We literally laugh the whole time we are together! Kristin is great, we can talk about serious stuff going on and our plans for the future :). I still am very close with my best friend from high school- Caroline, Rachael, Reid, and a few others. I know no matter what happens to me or Blakeley they would be there for us! Through this whole experience I have lost a lot of friends and gained a few new ones. I would much rather have 5 BEST FRIENDS, than 10 fake ones that will ditch you for the next best party down the road. It's crazy to think that by the time all of my friends get married and have kids Blakeley will be old enough to be in their weddings and maybe even babysit! I can't wait, but at the same time I can.
Madison and I
Kristin and I

Knox, Reid, Blakeley, and I on Halloween 2010

Rachael and Bebe at her Birthday Party!

Rachael brought Bebe her First cupcake ever!!!! She loved it!

Rachael and I in high school

All 3 of us at the beach in High School
Me, Caroline, her mom, and her dad at Bebe's First Bday Party!

     Now off to Bebe... she LOVES the word NO. Everytime I say something or ask her a question that pertains to eating, its naaaaaaaaaaaw (thats what is sounds like when she says no). She LOOOOOOVES to paint! It's precious to watch her! I'll ask her if she wants to paint and she will go pick of a piece of pottery to paint. It's usually this cat figurine I have. She's obsessed with cats.... Kind of worries me, haha just kidding! I can not wait for her to be able to cheer, dance, and maybe even be on Toddlers and Tiaras!!! Ha call me crazy but I. LOVE. TODDLERS & TIARAS! It is adorable, some people do take it to the extreme and that's ridiculous. But the little kids that truly love being on stage and performing, I think it's great! Stage mom, here I come!!!

One day I will look back on these blogs and might think- what the heck was I thinking, or it could be the exact opposite. Either way I'm loving sharing my stories with my friends and family. I hope you enjoyed my blog!

To new friends and old friends, to the good and the bad... It was all worth it!
-Mommy of Bebe

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

My First Blog

Today I created my first blog! Whoop whoop! My friend Madison and I decided since we were so obsessed with reading other peoples blogs we should start our own. I am going to try and update this page weekly with pictures and whats going on in mine and Blakeley's life. 

Where to begin..... I feel like I am going on 30years old now a days, my life seems to flash before my eyes. Blakeley is all over the place, she is obsessed with Rihanna and loves to dance. I can tell she will be a little performer when she grows up. I have come to the realization that she will be two before I know it. I am trying to cherish every moment I can with her. She comes to work with me every day unless her dad has her. I am still weary about putting her in daycare. She minds me very well and is social with other babies so I don't see the need for it, hey less doctor appointments for me right?! HA. Right now Bebe loves, and I mean LOVES hot dogs (turkey), french fries, and BANANAS (NANANANANA) as she says. Every week she gets on a kick of something new she will become obsessed with, this week it is NANANANANAAAAAAS! She cracks me up, her new word is Monkey. I love it when she says Monkey, she still won't say Carol tho (my best friends name) but she some how manages to say Monkey??? Strange right? She can point out her nose, ears, eyes, and mouth to me. She's like my little Einstein :)

Now onto myself, everyday I wake up at 8am and begin my day, luckily for me my baby sleeps in late! Wohooo! I open my shop by myself every day at 10am. When I say I own my own business I mean it. I come in here everyday with new ideas and creations. I am determined to make something of myself. I am very lucky to have the support of my family and friends to be able to run my own business, of course there are ups and downs to it.... But I wouldn't have it any other way. When Blakeley gets older I want her to look back and say "wow my mom really did make something of herself and us!" I will NEVER be the one to back down from my dream, just because I am 20 doesn't mean anything to me :)

I am VERY LUCKY that Blakeley has such a supportive dad and loves her unconditionally, even tho we aren't together we make to work for Blakeley. I am determined that Blakeley will love Hunter and I equally and know that she has TWO supportive families!!! Hunter's family is amazing and helps out tremendously, I am very grateful for that. My family is my biggest support, my mother inspires me to become something of myself. She raised me by herself as a young mom and made it, I know I can do the same! You're the best MIMI EVER! 

Juggling my life can be crazy, but on the nights I do not have Bebe I try to get some "me" time in, I am currently back with my high-school sweetheart, Louis. Cool huh? It's amazing how things work out! He is an amazing guy and supports me. We have been together ever since New Years Eve, and still going strong!  

Between running a business, keeping Blakeley on track, and juggling my life its pretty hectic but I manage to do it somehow! I think this wraps up my first blog in a nut shell, I look forward to posting more!

Keeping it creative day by day!
Mommy of Bebe!